keep breathing.

"The storm is coming
but I don't mind

People are dying,

I close my blinds.

All that I know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world

Instead I sleep.

I want to believe in more

than you and me.

But all that I know is I'm breathing;

All I can do is keep breathing;

All we can do is keep breathing now"

-Ingrid Michaelson

Inhale.

It is kinda hard to live when you do not breathe.

I know...that statement was genius. beyond genius actually.

but really, its true. basically, in order to take part in life, one needs to breathe. One can survive for a time without food, without water. But without air intake...well, you're screwed.

For me right now, I guess breathing is really the only constant I have. It kinda of feels like at bare minimum, as long as I keep breathing, I will survive until the next breath. There is so much to life that I want to embrace but I sometimes feel like I can not quite get there...but as long as I keep breathing, the option to live a fuller life still exisits.

I have been listening to this Ingrid Michaelson song for about a week straight now and I constantly feel like she somehow wire tapped my heart, took how I am feeling and wrote the song. Especially the line about saving the world but instead choosing sleep. I am beyond exhausted right now. My priorities at the moment involve 1.) sleeping, 2.) sleeping and 3.) putting on chapstick (don't judge...my lips are dry). Sometime I am blown away that I make it through the whole day awake. But even in my exhausted state, my dreams and passions still are fully alive in my heart and soul. This creates a crazy tension because I know what I want...but I do not do it. I cannot even fathom attempting to do it. It is so disheartening for me because I feel like I am failing and missing out on living life to the fullest. I hate having limitations. And the frustration makes me want to shut down, turn off my dreams of saving the world and just exist with no purpose. To fall into simply being a breathing lump of skin and bones with no direction or desire.

But I cannot. The thought of being content with the mundane is just ew.

So I keep breathing. Keep taking the next breath so I have another opportunity to take the world by its horns and shake it up a bit. Keep taking the next breath so I can a world that is so much bigger than me.

Exhale.