"There are things no one knows

and they beg to be exposed.

But those words never come.

to unlock the place in which they are hiding from.

I'm no saint, I've got my share of downfalls."

- Justin Branam

I love that I know brilliant song writers.

For whatever reason, these lyrics have hit a nerve with me. Everyday, when I go to work, I sit with kids, who for 40 minutes out of the day they get the chance to be vulnerable. To say whatever they want to say, free of judgement, free of pointing fingers. They are given the chance to be who they are with no apologies or pretenses. By being given that safe place, I have seen these kids grow and become more real as the weeks go on. And I love them even more for that.

And I also envy them to the fullest.

I long for the opportunity to completely vulnerable...to be completely real to the point where I am exposed. Which is so weird for me, because I win the gold medal for the fasted exit when things become intimate. I do not trust people or let them in. I can count on one hand the number of people who I have been able to fully confide in, which to some extent is healthy because not everyone needs to up in my business...but I have to really despise the fact that if I was really honest about who I am, I would be judged and labeled. The good choices I have made are automatically outweighed by the perceived "innappropriate" choices. My choices have shaped who I am, but ultimately they do not define me. I refuse to be catalogued by the past. Because ultimately, I am who I am, and I will not apologize for that. I may be reckless and make decisions that not everyone may agree with or support, but that is my decision. And I have learned from each one that I have made, both good and bad. I love the person that I have grown into because I have learned that at the end of the day, that is what matters; not what people are telling me I should be. They do not live my life; they have no idea what I see and hear and experience on a daily basis. I have a dynamic and large life...I will not settle to appease.

I love who I am.